Firefly Fic-'Enough'
Jan. 29th, 2006 05:03 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
walkwithheroesTitle: Enough
Author: walkwithheroes
Disclaimer: I don’t own this. I wrote it for a Secret Santa thing last month and just decided to post it.
Rating: PG
Jayne didn’t love River; River didn’t love Jayne. Or rather they weren’t in love with one another. Because, according to River, you could care about someone and not love them. Which is what Jayne and River did with one another-they cared for one another, but it wasn’t anything like love. It was more…more like they had just been put together. Everyone else had paired off and well, it wasn’t like Book was an option for either of them.
It had started easily enough. There had been little looks, sweet smiles, more teasing and flirting then angry rants and inappropriate threats. That had been followed by Jayne offering to let her use ’his’ cargo bay if she wanted to dance. Then, River had offered to show him her ’girl bits’ if he showed her his man ones. “Curious.” She had told him. “Just want to see if they all look alike.”
And somehow-Jayne still wasn’t completely sure how-that had led to the emotional part of their affair. He found himself getting jealous of her flirtation with Badger. She found herself wanting to make him smile or laugh. And they both found themselves seeking the other out. It wasn’t long till they started the sexual part.
Their first time had been in the cargo bay. It had been late and they both should have been asleep. It had not been sweet or tender or one of those things were they knew just what to do. River was a virgin, she had been unsure and scared and awkward. Jayne had never none that sort of thing, which had made him all the more awkward and nervous. There had been no mouth kissing, no whispering names, no declarations of love. It was just…sex. Very awkward and painful sex.
Yet, that one encounter had led to more and more. Jayne and River found themselves sneaking away to have sex. They’d run off to their rooms, the cargo bay, the extra shuttle, and when they were planet side, it was off to the nearest patch of wood.
Before long, their relationship had turned into sex, with emotional (but not love) attachments. Before the sex, there was flirting and soft whispers of ‘I want you’ and ‘Here. Please, touch here.’ After, the sex they both walked away as if nothing had happened. And in between the sex there was the soft brushes of skin, the longing looks, the sweet smiles, the jealous scoffs, the teasing and the flirting. Jayne and River both knew they were not in love, but that they were as close to it as either of them would ever be able to get.
Maybe that was why they both found themselves getting careless. Jayne found himself trying to touch her in the middle of meals. River found herself asking to go or stay with Jayne. And they both found themselves getting very careless with the sexual part of their relationship. Jayne left his shoe in River’s room once. River was a bit too loud in Jayne’s bunk one night. They also both started showing each other that they might just not be totally about the sex.
One day, about nine months after they had first had sex, River held Jayne’s hand all through a meal. It was under the table and no one else saw, but she held it and didn’t seem to mind or care that everyone else was around. Jayne had even let her do it.
One night, about ten months after they had first had sex, Jayne missed River’s cheek and kissed the side of River’s mouth. Normally, he would have jumped away and kicked her out of the bunk. But, that night, he ignored it and didn’t seem to mind that he had nearly kissed her on the mouth.
One year, five months, three weeks, six days, ten hours, thirty-eight minutes, and seven seconds after Jayne Cobb and River Tam first slept together-River told Jayne she thought, if she weren’t so broken, that she could be in love with him someday. She had assumed he would freak out and tell her to leave him alone. Jayne hadn’t. He simply smiled sadly and replied: “Know the feelin’, baby. I know the feelin’.” He’d then kissed her forehead and pulled her closer to him; tonight he'd take a chance and let her stay in his bunk.
They were not in love, but that they were as close to it as either of them would ever be able to get. And for them, that was enough.
![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
no subject
Date: 2006-01-29 11:26 pm (UTC)Great job
no subject
Date: 2006-01-30 05:31 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-01-29 11:33 pm (UTC)and it like they are telling a story, an explanation i suppose, trying to think over everything in their heads to convince themselves that they aren't really in love
very bitter sweet, i like it ^_^
no subject
Date: 2006-01-30 05:32 am (UTC)Ah Bwa ha ha ha
Date: 2006-01-29 11:54 pm (UTC)Re: Ah Bwa ha ha ha
Date: 2006-01-30 05:33 am (UTC)You know, I do get a kick out of those stories. But, I think it's more real if it stays with the 'she's broken and he's Jayne. They don't get the Zoe/Wash or the Kaylee/Simon or even the Inara/Mal kind of love.'
no subject
Date: 2006-01-30 12:22 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-01-30 05:34 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-01-30 12:52 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-01-30 05:36 am (UTC)That's very true. Jayne's not going to get all noble and River's not about to get all 'sex kitten'. I just wanted to write a story exploring that sie of their relationship. The side that's more: 'There's no one else. I'm messed up. You're messed up. At least we can be messed up together.'
no subject
Date: 2006-01-30 01:48 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-01-30 05:37 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-01-30 02:09 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-01-30 05:37 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-01-30 04:26 am (UTC)This is just as good now as it was when I first read it. Wonderful job. And thank you! I love the realism and the possibility/hope that things might grow, but there's nothing that says they have to. I can totally picture this.
Really. Thank you :)
no subject
Date: 2006-01-30 05:43 am (UTC)No, thank you for reading it and thank you for the kind review.
You know, I've read (and loved) and written (and loved) so many stories were its just true love and they end up happy and fighting for the love. I wanted to go in, what I think, is a more 'real' direction. These are two people that aren't going to go all 'true love' on us. I can also picturing something like this happening. There's always that little piece of them that could be in love with the other, but there's that large piece that knows that it is best the way it is.
These two are not the great love story/true love kind. That's Zoe/Wash or Kaylee/Simon. They aren't even that love until the end, all consumming kind, that's Mal/Inara.
River and Jayne are more the: 'I'm broken, you're kind of broken. We just fit and work.' kind.
no subject
Date: 2006-01-30 06:47 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-01-30 07:40 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-01-31 06:48 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-02-04 05:42 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-02-07 11:22 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-02-08 12:11 am (UTC)