Firefly Fic-'Enough'

[walkwithheroes]

Title: Enough
Author: walkwithheroes
Disclaimer: I don’t own this. I wrote it for a Secret Santa thing last month and just decided to post it.
Rating: PG

 

Jayne didn’t love River; River didn’t love Jayne. Or rather they weren’t in love with one another. Because, according to River, you could care about someone and not love them. Which is what Jayne and River did with one another-they cared for one another, but it wasn’t anything like love. It was more…more like they had just been put together. Everyone else had paired off and well, it wasn’t like Book was an option for either of them.

It had started easily enough. There had been little looks, sweet smiles, more teasing and flirting then angry rants and inappropriate threats. That had been followed by Jayne offering to let her use ’his’ cargo bay if she wanted to dance. Then, River had offered to show him her ’girl bits’ if he showed her his man ones. “Curious.” She had told him. “Just want to see if they all look alike.”

And somehow-Jayne still wasn’t completely sure how-that had led to the emotional part of their affair. He found himself getting jealous of her flirtation with Badger. She found herself wanting to make him smile or laugh. And they both found themselves seeking the other out. It wasn’t long till they started the sexual part.

Their first time had been in the cargo bay. It had been late and they both should have been asleep. It had not been sweet or tender or one of those things were they knew just what to do. River was a virgin, she had been unsure and scared and awkward. Jayne had never none that sort of thing, which had made him all the more awkward and nervous. There had been no mouth kissing, no whispering names, no declarations of love. It was just…sex. Very awkward and painful sex.

Yet, that one encounter had led to more and more. Jayne and River found themselves sneaking away to have sex. They’d run off to their rooms, the cargo bay, the extra shuttle, and when they were planet side, it was off to the nearest patch of wood.

Before long, their relationship had turned into sex, with emotional (but not love) attachments. Before the sex, there was flirting and soft whispers of ‘I want you’ and ‘Here. Please, touch here.’ After, the sex they both walked away as if nothing had happened. And in between the sex there was the soft brushes of skin, the longing looks, the sweet smiles, the jealous scoffs, the teasing and the flirting. Jayne and River both knew they were not in love, but that they were as close to it as either of them would ever be able to get.

Maybe that was why they both found themselves getting careless. Jayne found himself trying to touch her in the middle of meals. River found herself asking to go or stay with Jayne. And they both found themselves getting very careless with the sexual part of their relationship. Jayne left his shoe in River’s room once. River was a bit too loud in Jayne’s bunk one night. They also both started showing each other that they might just not be totally about the sex.

One day, about nine months after they had first had sex, River held Jayne’s hand all through a meal. It was under the table and no one else saw, but she held it and didn’t seem to mind or care that everyone else was around. Jayne had even let her do it.

One night, about ten months after they had first had sex, Jayne missed River’s cheek and kissed the side of River’s mouth. Normally, he would have jumped away and kicked her out of the bunk. But, that night, he ignored it and didn’t seem to mind that he had nearly kissed her on the mouth.

One year, five months, three weeks, six days, ten hours, thirty-eight minutes, and seven seconds after Jayne Cobb and River Tam first slept together-River told Jayne she thought, if she weren’t so broken, that she could be in love with him someday. She had assumed he would freak out and tell her to leave him alone. Jayne hadn’t. He simply smiled sadly and replied: “Know the feelin’, baby. I know the feelin’.” He’d then kissed her forehead and pulled her closer to him; tonight he'd take a chance and let her stay in his bunk.

They were not in love, but that they were as close to it as either of them would ever be able to get. And for them, that was enough.

Comments

Re: Ah Bwa ha ha ha

[walkwithheroes.livejournal.com]

You just see the "I love you so much, take me" fics so often.

You know, I do get a kick out of those stories. But, I think it's more real if it stays with the 'she's broken and he's Jayne. They don't get the Zoe/Wash or the Kaylee/Simon or even the Inara/Mal kind of love.'