walkwithheroes: [Random] (Random Panda)
As you may (or may not) know I've been having some medical issues lately. Seizures. I have them. And during the months of Feb-March I had five. One of which was a grand mal or tonic; it was huge. The largest I've ever had - completely with peeing on myself and forty minutes of memory loss. It was also followed by a small partial seizure, in which I sobbed for five minutes. Thankfully it happened at home. Though it did happen in the early morning hours and I'm so lucky I wasn't alone. (Apparently I thought people were after me and stumbling around.)

It's most likely an issue related to my new anti-seizure meds. (Which I already hate because they have terrible side effects) But, we did an MRI to be safe. I have some issues with small spaces and actually had a panic attack in the open air MRI. (Hey, the top is right at my nose and they strapped my head into a box.) Not sure if it came out okay, but since I haven't heard from my doctor - they either didn't come out or there is nothing wrong.

In the meantime, it's time to write. Seriously need to get back into it. I miss it. It's like a part of me is missing when I'm not writing something. I have the next part of Surely Someday in the works. Just working out some stuff with Henry and Andrews getting to the cottage. But, I have some lovely bonding planned for the other three. Warren and Simon fighting over which animal would win in a fight; Maggie offering to be with Simon when he transforms. I'm already planning Set 2 of the story and Set 1 ends in the best cliffhanger, you guys.

On a side note, I sort of (maybe down the road or maybe sooner. I already have too much! Stop getting ideas!) have a spin-off of Surely Someday in my head. It would explore the supernatural elements more and how the supernaturals get on together in the 'real world' and involve the Men in the Black Coats/Cloaks. And I have a really basic plot and some rough outlines of characters. Does anybody want to know more about it?
walkwithheroes: [Tangled] (Healing Hair)
When I first posted about my new (and first official!) job, I discussed what a hard time I was having with my co-workers and the way things were run at the office. Well, I've now been at the job for nearly two months (it will be two months on the 18th) and things have actually gotten worse.

What is happening and questions on what I can do )

I'm just really confused:

- Being blamed for things I never did

- Being told different things daily and then either the office manger/doctors changing their minds or the others acting like they never told me Ex: I'm told people are new patients after two years. so, when some woman calls and says her teen has been sick for two weeks and hasn't been seen it two years, I say we can see her two days later (I take responsibility for that mistake. I should have asked the doctor to double book her in. The woman angrily hangs up) Later, the woman - a friend of the doctor - calls and complains that I didn't make a same-day appointment and I'm told by a whole room (at the same time!): "No, it's three years."

- Being given other peoples duties so they can text with their friends or check their OK!Cupid profile

- Being told to do five things at once (that must be done by a certain time, like before lunch) and then being told I "take on too much at once" when I fall behind, etc is all a bit much.

I'm stressed. I'm not enjoying my work. Or my days. I'm becoming ill. Maybe this is the way all offices work. Maybe coworkers are mean and maybe the newbie does get all the work. Maybe I'm doing something wrong. I'd like to know others thoughts. I've spoken with some people (both online and in my personal life) and they think it is a toxic and clicky work place. Most say I should quit, but I'm not sure I can because of the way I got the job (via Goodwill and a government work program - they keep mentioning 90 days! and me staying forever. 'First job, last job.' is their favorite sentence) I'm just not sure. Is it me? Honestly I feel like it is all my fault/in my head. I just don't know how to fix it.


Feb. 8th, 2013 08:36 pm
walkwithheroes: [Random] (Random Panda)
I had a somewhat small seizure Wednesday (around 11:30). It was odd. I haven't had a noticeable seizure (like not partial and small) in three years or so. Usually my seizures are at night and more often than not they are grand mal. But, on Wednesday: I suddenly felt like I might be ill, so I told my co-workers I was going to the back for a moment and they asked what was wrong. I just suddenly started sobbing and said I thought I was having a seizure. I felt like I was shaking and went on sobbing for several minutes. Several coworkers were very kind about it, and my mother came and got me. On Thursday I was ready to get back to work, when I felt my legs and arms shaking - only they weren't moving. I also stared off for several moments three times that morning. I think they were 'after shocks' of the other seizure. Today I'm very sleepy and a bit confused - I can barely recall Wednesday and have been told I said a few 'weird' things this morning. (Not even asking what I said. I know a guy who asks for a tomato after his seizures.)

I have an appointment with my doctor on the 20th. I spoke with his NP on Wednesday and was basically told: "You should have gone to the ER. Just take your meds. He may want to up your dosage." Dude! I take 1,200 MGs of this drug a day. I've been taking it for eight years. I haven't had blood work in five. I've never had a seizure like this before. (Three years ago, I was found crying in the bathroom around 2 in the morning - three weeks later I had a grand mal at night; I was alone and was very lucky I didn't do more than break a closet door and bruise my leg (a fan fell on it))Because it was during the day (haven't had that in 11 years) and because it was so odd - uncontrollable sobbing and my body felt like it was shaking and there was an unsteady balance and some confusion - I'd really love blood tests and even an EKG.

But the worst part? It's a bit of a waiting game for me. I need to know why it happened. Was it because I skipped two pills with in a week? Am I growing immune to the meds? The stress of the job? Or something worse. And when will the next one happen, because with me - it always comes in twos, usually three weeks to a month apart.
walkwithheroes: [Tangled] (Healing Hair)
I know that every Sunday I'm supposed to post six sentences from my newest work, but this Sunday will have to be a pass. Why? I ended up writing a short prequel to Set/Arc 2 of Surely Someday that would give away too much. It may also end up being a spin off one day, so I'm keeping it under-wraps until Set/Arc 1 is finished. At that rate I'm going, that will be sometime around June. I also need/want to start writing my other two stories, but I'm a bit lost as to were to go with them; so, they are on 'pause' at this time. (In the mean time, I am reading - even if I forget to comment. Most of the reading is quick, like at lunch or late at night before bed)

I'm still at my job, and it has actually gotten worse since the Holidays. I'd like to go into details, but I don't really want to bring anyone down or get into it at the moment. My one regret is that I took the job, but the interview was so great and they were so nice! Now, I feel like an outsider and have literally cried in the bathroom. I'd love another job, but let us be real, there are none. It took me a year to find this one. I can't leave unless I have something else lined up. I've started looking this afternoon and have already applied to four jobs. I hope to be out of this unhealthy environment (seriously I'm sick) within the next two months.
walkwithheroes: [Being Human] (Giddy Dorks)
I've figured out that if I save a certain amount of money per month, I'll be able to make a dream come true and visit Europe at the end of '13/start of '14. The questions I must ask are:

01. What are some awesome cities/towns I should visit and not miss?
02. Any attractions I should see?
03. It is possible I'll be traveling alone - any tips?
04. Best travel sites to buy tickets/ vacation packages? (I've used Expedia for a trip to visit my sister in Florida; it was okay.)
05. If I plan on traveling for a week/week and a half, what is the minimum amount I should have for hotels/hostels/inns/shopping/eating/etc. I thought $2,000 U.S. (in different forms, of course).
walkwithheroes: [The Princess Bride] (True Love)
So - both my parents are anti same-sex marriage. Or rather they are anti calling it marriage. Call it a unite or a partnership. Let them have all the same rights as married couples, but don’t call it a marriage. And all the ancient records were a same-sex marriage was preformed? Yeah, that’s not in English so who knows what it really meant. And all the modern religions and groups that recognize same sex marriage. . .they don't count. (Not really sure why, actually)

I tried to discuss it, but it basically came back to: marriage is religion and its wrong to make people call it marriage. Especially if they don’t want to. Civil rights has nothing to do with it. And what if a man marries his horse next! Like, a man could start saying he’s married to a horse! Oh no!

My question is: what do you guys think of it all? I say: I don’t really care. I think that anyone in the LGBTQA community should be able to marry anyone they like, as long as they are both mentally/emotionally ready and of age. (Basically what I think of all marriage.)

Also, my father said that a lot of the problems the LGBTQA community face are problems they bring on themselves. Especially via their parties and their “feminine” behavior. As he put it: “a homosexual man doesn’t have to act like a woman. They mostly chose to - they like the attention and they are drama queens.” But, you know he’s fine with “homosexuals”

(And he hates Morgan Freeman!)
walkwithheroes: [Being Human] (Giddy Dorks)
First: my dad is doing really well. He's getting cabin fever and his pain medication has turned him into a jerk. So. . .walking on eggshells. Beyond happy and grateful that he's doing well, just wish the pain medications weren't changing his personality so much.

Second: Have sent the next part of Surely Someday off to be beta'ed. :) Going to seriously start writing (and reading) this weekend.

Third: I hate when I get ideas for stories/series. I almost wish I could co-write something or give away a few ideas. Maybe I can do the 'adopt a story' at Nano next year.

Fourth: If you are a United States of America citizen and 18 or over - don't forget to vote tomorrow!


Sep. 13th, 2012 11:13 pm
walkwithheroes: [Strange Heroes] (Look After Her)
There are several things I'd like to discuss and say sorry for during this post.

A) I have not found a job yet, but I've been busy this last month. There is a lot of family stuff that I'd rather not go into detail. Also, I've been doing volunteer work three-four times a week for the last month and a half. Usually the volunteer work is for four-six hours a day, and it's in busy non-profits.

B) I'm behind on my reading for rainbow. For that: "I'm sorry." However, I've been so busy/sleepy/occupied that I knew I couldn't fully enjoy or even understand anything I read. So, I've just not read. I plan on reading at least one thing from all the authors I follow at rainbow this weekend.

C) I haven't written a thing since I sent the first half of Surely Someday's fourth chapter to be beta'ed. However, I plan to write one mini collection for Wonderlife, one dialogue only piece for Addictions, and two or more scenes for Part 2 of Surely Someday's fourth chapter this weekend/next week.

D) I've decided to do an audio "interview" for my writing and stories. If you'd like, in the comments you can leave questions about my three stories, writing style, plots, characters, etc. You can ask as much as you like, and I'll answer them in audio form within the next two weeks. If you all like it, I'll suggest it to the rainbowlounge as maybe a fun thing authors can do.

Bad Day

Aug. 28th, 2012 09:44 pm
walkwithheroes: [Being Human] (Cling to Dear Life)
I graduated with a B.S. in Child and Family Studies back in December and have yet to find a job. I've been on several interviews, but nothing. The thing is, it seems like all entry level jobs in my area require you to drive. (Even office jobs for the front desk.) The thing is, I'm physically disabled and cannot drive.

Which was fine. I was getting over the disappointment and looking into different fields. I went to minimum wage jobs in retail - they wouldn't have me. So, last week I went to a job fair and got an interview with a non-profit. It was for 'support coordinator'. I thought: 'Oh, pointing people toward the correct resources. I can do that! I studied that!' Well, today I had that interview.

and it didn't go well )

Pity-party/rant over.
walkwithheroes: [Hong Gil Dong] ([Potter Musical] Snape)
Originally posted by [livejournal.com profile] write_light at BAD Internet Laws Heading Your Way

From the flist: 

Spread the word, even you're not a US citizen, it is important for everyone!! It easy to do and it can change everything. More info by clicking on the banner.

Website Blocking

The government can order service providers to block websites for infringing links posted by any users.

Risk of Jail for Ordinary Users

It becomes a felony with a potential 5 year sentence to stream a copyrighted work that would cost more than $2,500 to license, even if you are a totally noncommercial user, e.g. singing a pop song on Facebook.

Chaos for the Internet

Thousands of sites that are legal under the DMCA would face new legal threats. People trying to keep the internet more secure wouldn't be able to rely on the integrity of the DNS system.

Read this analysis from boing-boing.net

Get on the phone and call your representative. Express your disapproval. Tell him or her exactly how you feel, and that you don't support this. Tell your friends to call their representatives, their Congressperson, and complain. Mention that you are a registered voter that takes your civic responsibility seriously and that you will use that vote to express your feelings about this.


“We support the bill’s stated goals — providing additional enforcement tools to combat foreign ‘rogue’ websites that are dedicated to copyright infringement or counterfeiting,” the Internet companies wrote in Tuesday’s letter. “Unfortunately, the bills as drafted would expose law-abiding U.S. Internet and technology companies to new uncertain liabilities, private rights of action and technology mandates that would require monitoring of websites.”  The chamber-led coalition in support of the bill includes Walmart, Eli Lilly & Co. and Netflix.

Google and other opponents of the legislation argue that restricting the Internet in the U.S. sets a bad international precedent and that the language defines infringing too broadly.

walkwithheroes: [Hong Gil Dong] ([DW] TARDIS)
Originally posted by [livejournal.com profile] subluxate at post
Image and video hosting by TinyPic

[livejournal.com profile] gandolforf's brother, Eric Lee Bark, pictured above, was last seen in Maquoketa, IA, on November 4, 2011. He gave no word to his family as to where he was going.

Eric was born December 19, 1987. He is 6'2" and weighs approximately 170 pounds. He has hazel eyes and brown hair, and there is a 6" scar on the outside of his left arm, near his elbow. The last time he was seen, he was wearing a dark blue hoodie and blue jeans. His car is also missing; it's a green Jimmy with rust marks.

If you see him, please contact [livejournal.com profile] gandolforf at gandolforf@gmail.com, on Twitter at gandolforf, on Tumblr at http://gandolforf.tumblr.com/, or let me know. I will let A. know about anything as soon as I hear. You can also contact the Maquoketa Police Department at (563) 652-2468.

There is a Facebook post here; please pass it on if you can.

This post is public. Feel free to pass it on, in part or full, if you so choose.

walkwithheroes: [Hong Gil Dong] ([DW] Goodbye Again)
My laptop of six years is more or less gone. The back light went out and the hard drive is slowly dying. It's an outdated model, so it could be fixed - if I paid 200 dollars and had it shipped off for a month. But, I sort of need what's on it now. If I don't get it, I don't graduate and I'll have to do my final semester all over again. I had it all on a flash drive, but that got corrupted last week.And, apparently files can't be recovered. . .or something. Or they can but for 100-300 dollars, depending on how much space the files take up.

So, I'm rather stressed. Ok, I'm so stressed I've cried. Because I'm on a VERY fixed budget - I have 300 dollars a month thanks to government aid. And, no one to help with any costs. And, everyone keeps telling me to "calm down", I should, but this all has to be turned in by November 28th and I just don't have the money to fix the computer nor can I restart things that I've been working on for three months and have them finished in three weeks. I'm screwed. I'm trying to be strong, especially as people are getting angry that I'm "freaking out over nothing." But. . .it's like five years of my life where are I worked so hard is crumpling before me. I just don't know what I'll do.

UPDATE: I would like to think everyone who commented with warm vibes and advice. After my small (and embarrassing) freakout, I put myself together and went on my way. I went to Radioshack and bought something, so I could use my television as a monitor for my laptop. ?I used a flash drive to get everything I needed off, and then I bought a cheap laptop to get me through the rest of the semester and the next year or so.
walkwithheroes: [Hong Gil Dong] ([Community]  Brain is Crying!)
I will be a college graduate!


But, I have 70 hours of internship left to do, two on-site visits to conduct with non-profits (I have to find the non-profits), make a bird house, write four papers, do a Grant, and do my portfolio. Plus - working in the nursery school lab every Wednesday! So busy!!!!!


But, I can do it. . .


yes, this post was done (partly) so I can use my pretty new gifs
walkwithheroes: [Hong Gil Dong] ([Being Human] Last Night)
Originally posted by [livejournal.com profile] old_blueeyes at Mississippi Personhood Amendment
Originally posted by [livejournal.com profile] twbasketcase at Mississippi Personhood Amendment
Originally posted by [livejournal.com profile] gabrielleabelle at Mississippi Personhood Amendment

I'm not usually one for this kind of thing, but NO ONE in the media is discussing this.

Mississippi is voting on November 8th on whether to pass Amendment 26, the "Personhood Amendment". This amendment would grant fertilized eggs and fetuses personhood status.

Putting aside the contentious issue of abortion, this would effectively outlaw birth control and criminalize women who have miscarriages. This is not a good thing.

Jackson Women's Health Organization is the only place women can get abortions in the entire state, and they are trying to launch a grassroots movement against this amendment. This doesn't just apply to Mississippi, though, as Personhood USA, the group that introduced this amendment, is trying to introduce identical amendments in all 50 states.

What's more, in Mississippi, this amendment is expected to pass. It even has Mississippi Democrats, including the Attorney General, Jim Hood, backing it.

The reason I'm posting this here is because I made a meager donation to the Jackson Women's Health Organization this morning, and I received a personal email back hours later - on a Sunday - thanking me and noting that I'm one of the first "outside" people to contribute.

So if you sometimes pass on political action because you figure that enough other people will do something to make a difference, make an exception on this one. My RSS reader is near silent on this amendment. I only found out about it through a feminist blog. The mainstream media is not reporting on it.

If there is ever a time to donate or send a letter in protest, this would be it.

What to do?

- Read up on it. Wake Up, Mississippi is the home of the grassroots effort to fight this amendment. Daily Kos also has a thorough story on it.

- If you can afford it, you can donate at the site's link.

- You can contact the Democratic National Committee to see why more of our representatives aren't speaking out against this.

- Like this Facebook page to help spread awareness.

I have. . .

Oct. 5th, 2011 11:56 am
walkwithheroes: [Hong Gil Dong] ([CryingOut] I'll Get Fat)
an inner and an outer ear infection - in the same ear! I've had them since Friday/Saturday and I just want to scream. The middle ear infection isn't so bad, but the outer ear infection is so damn painfully. At different points over the last three days, I've gone partly deaf in my ear. And it itches! I'm taking two different antibiotics, and I guess they are helping - my ear keeps popping and there is a clear liquid coming out of it. Yes, it's disgusting!!!

Anyway, just wanted to share. It explains why I'm not really commenting on anything.
walkwithheroes: [Hong Gil Dong] ([Film] Golden Sparrow)
I'm developing the project more and more. The idea of the project is to explore how different cultures portray people dealing with death or a loss (of innocence, divorce of parents, a country, losing an important realtionship, that sort of thing). I don't want the project to be too long, so I'm currently narrowing it all done. But, I must ask: if anyone, after reading this last paragraph, just has a scene (especially from films) that pops into their heads, please let me know.

I'm putting up what I've decided to use:

I really need more loss of relationships and innocence )
walkwithheroes: [Hong Gil Dong] ([My Boss My Hero] Reading Club)
Originally posted by [livejournal.com profile] darkspirited1 at SIGNAL BOOST: SAY YES TO GAY YA
This comes from an article by [livejournal.com profile] rachelmanija entitled, Say Yes to Gay YA.
(click the link for the full article)

Our novel Stranger has five viewpoint characters; one, Yuki Nakamura, is
gay and has a boyfriend. Yuki's romance, like the heterosexual ones in
the novel, involves nothing more explicit than kissing.

An agent from a major agency, one which represents a bestselling YA novel in the same genre as ours, called us.

The agent offered to sign us on the condition that we make the gay
character straight, or else remove his viewpoint and all references to
his sexual orientation.

This isn't about that specific agent; we'd gotten other rewrite requests before this one. Previous agents had also offered to take a second look if we did rewrites… including cutting the viewpoint of Yuki, the gay character.

It's time to stand up and demand change. Spread the word everywhere if you are just as angry and outraged by this.

I think YA should show teenagers of all backgrounds, ethnic groups, religions,sexualities, etc; so, I'm supporting this. It's silly to not print a novel with a gay character as a POV character. He's just like everyone else - expect he likes boys instead of girls. Wake up, Publisher Guy - gay teens exist and most teens have no problem reading about gay characters.
walkwithheroes: [Hong Gil Dong] ([Battle Royale] Together in Death)
I'm taking a Sociology class this semester and I've decided to work on a project for extra points. I want to put together some clips about death and loss (divorce, a breakup, loss of innocence, etc) and I was wondering if you guys had any ideas. I want the clips to be from around the world. So far I've decided to use clips from Doctor Who - Nine's regeneration into Ten and Ten's into Eleven; clips from the Buffy episode "The Body";clips from the J-film Battle Royale; clips from the J-drama Crying Out Love at the Center. . .; Aki's mom's speech from Soredemo, Ikite Yuku - as well as a couple of other speeches from that drama; and maybe a few other shows. But, I'm having trouble thinking of things that realistically deal with a death or a loss of some kind.

Any ideas? And, it is around the world. ..so, any country - so long as I could find the clips.
walkwithheroes: [Hong Gil Dong] ([DW] Mister Cool)
This past week was the first week of my (hopefully) final semester of university. I'm taking four classes, doing an internship, and working at the on-campus nursery school. I'm going to be busy!

I work at the on-campus nursery (for free) every Wednesday from 7:45 a.m.-12:00 p.m. I'm working with the three and four year olds, so that should be fairly interesting. (And nerve-wreaking!) My internship is at a local assisted living home. I have to go fifteen hours a week, so I'm trying to figure out how to fit that all in. I have no classes on Tuesdays and Thursdays, so I hope to be able to do at least ten hours during those two days. I'm also taking a Sociology class - solely because of my internship - all about Death and Dying. I have to build a bird house and visit a funeral home! Oy. Not looking forward to those two things. Other than that, it seems like most of the semester will be spent writing a lot of papers, working on my resume,and making lesson plans for the nursery.

I'm going to be busy; but, a few people who graduated last semester tell me it's not nearly as bad as I think it is. We shall we.
walkwithheroes: [Hong Gil Dong] ([Jungle Fish 2] Sleep to Dream)
My birthday was in May. I've been saving my money and have decided to get myself a new handbag. The only thing is, the bag comes in several colors and I just cannot chose. I'm not a fancy girl - when I'm not doing my internship, I'm in jeans and a tee. So, I thought a mellow color. Gray or Red or Black or Honeysuckle for the Fall/Winter?





I just can't decide!


walkwithheroes: [Hong Gil Dong] (Default)

October 2013



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